God once showed me a picture of myself standing in front of a group of people, speaking with passion about the realization of who we are – Christ-in-me, the hope of glory. My voice built, my conviction growing as I began walking through the crowd pointing to individuals and speaking life-changing truths about who they are.
Loved. Valued. Important. Meant to change the world. Powerful. Never forgotten.
As I watched I heard my heart jump in prayer, “Oh, I hope I get to do that someday!”
“You will,” I heard Him respond, “As long as you realize that every one of those things I say about you.”
And there it was. The realization of doubt. The question. The challenge to the value I hold most dear – that God’s words would mean everything to me – that they would define me, guide me, shape me.
That I would believe what He says is true.
That I would search for His words – in worship, in prayer, in the Bible. That I would value and steward them, walking out what He speaks over my life.
That I would rest in His ‘no’s, lean into His ‘yes’s. Choose His truth over the facts of my circumstances.
That His words would mean everything.
And when I consider the question of values, the question of what rhythms guide my life, I realize that there is only one.
One rhythm that leads me to engage in all others.
It is the value I hold for His voice that causes me to align in prayer, to glorify and enjoy Him in worship, to leverage all I have for Him.
It is His voice that leads me to cultivate community with others and to step into the misery and margins. I seek His words in worship, in prayer, and in the Bible, and find that when I keep myself focused on them, I naturally life a Christ-centered, Spirit-filled life.
Challenges to that value still come. In the light of big promises that seem beyond my abilities. In the light of brokenness that seems outside of His plan. In the light of the day-to-day details that threaten to steal my heart away.
Will I actually believe? Will I live out my value that His words must mean everything?
And in those moments I see myself as the desperate father that pleaded for his son’s healing after Jesus’s disciples had failed to complete the task.
“…help us, if you can.”
“What do you mean, ‘If I can’? Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.”
“The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”
Mark 9:22-24 NLT
I do believe. I want to believe. Jesus, help me overcome my unbelief.
Help me hold to the value, to the truth my heart knows. Help me walk out a life that speaks clearly – Your. Words. Mean. Everything. To. Me.
Kiesha Brainard spends her days keeping up with three men – one full-grown and two growing way too fast. She is learning that God loves to laugh and smile, and that He is so much better than we could ever imagine.